It Will Always Get Better

I'm a firm believer in the equalization of the universe; we may have "lows" in our life, but these "lows" allow us to appreciate the "ups" even more. Life is looking up at the moment for me, regardless of my mom's career situation. It may not be an apex, but I'm working my way up the sine curve of life. I'm doing well at work- I even applied to Starbucks for a second job and I'm finding happiness in the little things. The small chats with strangers at work and Starbucks, my mom's adorable dog, my awesome friends that I sometimes neglect due to my need for alone time and just life in general. Everything will work it's self out in the end. So, I just keep smiling and thinking positive.

-Cody

Love Hurts When You Do It Right

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's been a week today since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. It still hurts, but I'm not a hot mess like I was a few of days ago. What made this break up so hard for me was that not only am I losing someone that I deeply care for and love, but it feels like I'm losing a best friend. It's hard to feel like you're losing two people in your life, but each day that passes, it gets a little bit easier. I have had Sara Evans' song "A Little Bit Stronger" playing on repeat; it perfectly describes how I feel. As I am sad that what we had is gone, I am not as bitter as I thought I would be, and I'm happy about that. I rather be sad and hurt than a bitter, angry person. Sadness fades, bitter and angriness linger.

I've been thinking a lot about if I'm going to decide to become "friends" with him later on. I say "friends" in quotes, because I don't think that exes can truly be real friends again, especially when the break up is not mutual as they rarely are. When two exes decide to try a "friendship," one will always be hurt to see their ex talking to other people, not matter how "over it" they are. It hurts to see your ex giving someone else what you once had. And, with exes, I don't think that you can truly ever really confide in them like you once did. As hard as it is to think that he won't be in my life like he used to, I know that life goes on and the hurt will eventually fade. But, maybe a friendship between us is in our future. It's hard to say. I'm not writing it off, because you never know. I just know that I need to move on before a friendship can happen.

I can honestly say that I don't think I will ever be the same; I don't think anyone is ever the same after a relationship. It's such an emotional experience that it's almost impossible not to change as a person.

He'll be missed. I'll move on. That's how life works. Taking it one day at a time.

-Cody

Overdue

As I sit in Starbucks, like I do everyday to relax and enjoy my iced coffee, I realized that I haven't posted a blog in a while. Not that I am worried that you would particularly care about my average life and are wondering what I've been up to; however, I started this blog essentially as an outlet and as a type of journal and I have been neglecting it. It's time to fill in the past three months:

I was hired at Books-A-Million in April and have been doing really well. I make a lot of extra "spiff" money for selling magazine subscriptions and discount cards. I suppose this is a testament of my ability as a salesperson. I was quite surprised that I was a natural at selling things and now I'm quite proud of the fact that I can make an extra $50 or so a week just because people like to buy things from me.

By this point you may or may not be wondering why the hell I'm not in California as the blog title suggests. I struggled for sometime, and still struggle, with the fact that I am not there yet, but after talking with my best friends, I've realized that I don't owe anyone an explanation. But, in case you're wondering, the plan to move is still on; I've just decided to save more money to be financially secure and not have to worry about crawling back to Georgia after I moved because I ran out of money.

As for my family, my mom has lost her job. Long story short: her former boss fired her for no legal reason and she is taking legal action. None-the-less it is understandably causing a lot of stress in her life that trickles down to mine. But, we're staying positive. My mom and dad are both dating someone. It was strange at first, and very awkward, but I'm starting to get used to it. They're actually really nice people. My dad is still riding my back about college and life in general, but I ignore him for the most part. He doesn't understand that I don't have to do everything as he would do it or the way he thinks I should do it, but I accept that he doesn't get that. And, my sister is home for the summer and doing fine. She still annoys me, but its mutual, I am sure, and we've had some fun pool days since she's been back.

Now that things are somewhat filled in, I'm going to go back to enjoying my coffee and reading my new book. :)

-Cody