Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.It's been a week today since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. It still hurts, but I'm not a hot mess like I was a few of days ago. What made this break up so hard for me was that not only am I losing someone that I deeply care for and love, but it feels like I'm losing a best friend. It's hard to feel like you're losing two people in your life, but each day that passes, it gets a little bit easier. I have had Sara Evans' song "A Little Bit Stronger" playing on repeat; it perfectly describes how I feel. As I am sad that what we had is gone, I am not as bitter as I thought I would be, and I'm happy about that. I rather be sad and hurt than a bitter, angry person. Sadness fades, bitter and angriness linger.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
I've been thinking a lot about if I'm going to decide to become "friends" with him later on. I say "friends" in quotes, because I don't think that exes can truly be real friends again, especially when the break up is not mutual as they rarely are. When two exes decide to try a "friendship," one will always be hurt to see their ex talking to other people, not matter how "over it" they are. It hurts to see your ex giving someone else what you once had. And, with exes, I don't think that you can truly ever really confide in them like you once did. As hard as it is to think that he won't be in my life like he used to, I know that life goes on and the hurt will eventually fade. But, maybe a friendship between us is in our future. It's hard to say. I'm not writing it off, because you never know. I just know that I need to move on before a friendship can happen.
I can honestly say that I don't think I will ever be the same; I don't think anyone is ever the same after a relationship. It's such an emotional experience that it's almost impossible not to change as a person.
He'll be missed. I'll move on. That's how life works. Taking it one day at a time.
-Cody
cody, i know we don't talk much anymore (it sucks that life happens like that sometimes) but i still read your blog to see how you're doing & i always hope for life's best for you! i wanted to know i am so incredibly proud of you. life has thrown you many curve balls, and you keep handling them with grace and dignity. it must be hard not to be in LA, but i have the utmost confidence in your abilities, & i know you have the talent to be there one day! just know that although we don't get to see each other often, i still care about you & i am rooting for you every step of the way!
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